I want to get a palm reading!!

Can anybody do it for me?

(Yay. Not much work today! ^^)

'Peace of mind'!
Salalah, Dhofar, Sultanate of Oman
This photo was taken in the mountains of Dhofar during summer 2016
Taken by me. The caption on it was also written by me lol. 

It is not like I actually believe in such things (let's only believe in science ok? ^^;) However, sometimes I feel very desperate to know when I will finally manage to live the way I deserve to live. I deserve a certain way of life because I believe in it. Will it take even more yeaaars?!! Is even more patience worth it?? TT_TT I am already 27 and I think my life should have been CONSIDERABLY DIFFERENT ever since I was 20 or 21. It should have changed considerably because my perspective towards life has changed considerably. However, I had to sacrifice my peace of mind for the sake of my security and satisfaction of the people around me. Of course feeling secure can grant you a bit of peace of mind but that is not enough.

I think I am kind of hesitant to use the word 'freedom.' Yep, that is what I am talking about. That is what I want. Obviously I've been refraining from using this word out of fear and precaution lol. Most of the time people here wouldn't think nice of a burqa wearing Arab girl who is calling for freedom.

The little freedom I enjoy here enables me to go the cinema once a week. However, going to the cinema once a week made some people worry that I might be possessed (I mean demon-possessed btw lol). Something that is more than going to the cinema at that rate, would be considered wrong and extremely inappropriate. Actually me going to the cinema is not fully accepted but I JUST CAN'T HELP IT! The Cinema is like my haven in this place.

I am mentally torturing myself by forcing myself to abide by some social/cultural norms. You can't really understand this until you get to go through it. It feels like mental torture to find yourself forced to agree with the others around you all the time just in order to feel safe. It feels like mental torture when you keep forcing yourself to do things you don't believe in for years and years. It feels like you are stuck in a play without an end; it feels like you are not living a real life.

Well my life taught me patience, and I am surprised to know how patient I can be lol.

I am about to deteriorate though;;; 

Enough for today.