The precious things to me

Are not many. My 1st published novel is definitely one of the most precious things to me. Regardless of what critics think of it, this novel really feels like a child of mine. It depicts a part of me, even if it is full of imagination.

I'm thinking about this matter right now just because I have been asked to 'trust some people'. No need for details, but those people didn't support me getting published. I have heard some really harsh words just because I became a published FEMALE novelist in Oman, and Dhofar in particular.

I've become the first published female novelist in Dhofar and I know where their views came from. Dhofar is a very conservative society where women are actually supposed to wear niqab (covering their faces). You must be thinking that I was born in an extraordinary Dhofari family to post my photo with my face uncovered here in my blog. I don't think my family is any less conservative from the rest of the families (I believe my family is even more conservative than normal lol). However, I had the courage to post it on my blog just because a few photos of me have been circulated on the local newspapers and internet a while ago, so a photo here won't really make a difference.

Back to the point. Even if I understand why some people would have to say very harsh things to me just because I, a female, write fiction, and even though I can still communicate with them normally as if they haven't hurt me before, I think it is really hard for me to trust them when they ask me to. At least I can't trust them fully. Even if they are actually trustworthy, something inside me prevents me from trusting them completely. It is something I feel that I can't really do anything about. It is probably something they gained from what they have done...

Forgiveness? I think I'm done with it lol. At least I let them get it out on me whenever they please. I should now focus more on my future and my own happiness, right?

Being a novelist is an important part of who I am, now and in the future. I am working on becoming a good novelist. I can't believe that totally slipped out of their minds.